Dragon's Diary

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 06:19:55 GMT

My apartment got raided, and I'm awaiting a call from the police so they can come arrest me. Whee! I'm fine, though - I'll get out of this, even if it's by serving time.

Hi, world.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 08:09:36 GMT

Stealing a friend's clearwire for tonight. I'm alive.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:54:53 GMT

All the pieces are in place. Now I've just gotta work like mad to make this machine start. Oiling, tightening... And gas. Gonna need lots of that.

I feel like a rat in a maze called Earth

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:19:42 GMT

I can smell vast rewards just ahead, but the paths seem to be dead ends. I don't care. There must be a way. I'll climb the walls if I have to.

Comes via Sil

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:11:27 GMT

Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on yaoi, the benefit of revolutions, favorite type of underwear, graphic techniques, etc. Repost in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other.

Existence in a nutshell

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 12:01:50 GMT

Let me see if I can remember the last three days.

Thursday night was Anji's party. Smoked a bit, but not a lot happened there. Went to Tim's, broke into the Jim Beam, got a bit drunk. Fell asleep.

Friday morning. Woke up. Got paycheck, ran around paying bills. Ran into crush from five years ago. She's gotten less sane, but she's still a blast to hang out with. Made plans to party that night on the spot. Went to work 5-10. Bought a rat. At 10, met Joe outside work on chance. Stopped by tattoo parlor, got a very reasonable pricepoint worked out. Made appointment for saturday. Hauled Joe to Tim's, where many more people then I had anticipated were present. Bought beer. Drank a lot. Smoked a lot. Spent the night seeing in three. Got a massage from a pretty lady, and was even able to remain polite when I had to manage to stand up and exit in a dignified manner before I was undignified down the front of my shirt. Passed out around 2:30.

Woke up saturday morning about 8:30. Hung around for three hours while everyone woke up and left. Bought rat supplies. Caught a two hour nap, then smuggled rat into my no-pets apartment. Bought stem for Mikey, and one for myself. Babysat sister for a few hours. Bought from my dealer, went with Tim, Sasha, and Ashley to the tattoo parlor. Was told to return in an hour. Went to Tim's. Smoked, pounded down some oxy in anticipation of tattoo. Got inked (Finally). Walked three miles in the company of good friends, buzzed on pills and pain. Got to Anji's. Smoked more. Started drinking. Smoked more. Drank more. Old crush decided to tease, which I tolerated for a bit before turning the tables and making a spectacle of her in the main room without my hand leaving her lower back. Was informed I was one of three people who had ever accomplished that, and the only male. Ego swelled. Drank more. Smoked more. Ended up laying on the floor in the dark in a dingy basement, vaugely aware that Ace Ventura was on TV. Burned the last smoke on 4:20. Hiked three miles home. Forced myself to remain awake until 9, so I could call work and be sure I wasn't due in.

All in all, I spent about sixty hours involved in partying, going to parties, or preparing for parties, and came out the other end barely coherant and with a tattoo. Living the dream, woo!

Sasha wants me to plan her 21st. I've been given a $200 budget to this end. Apparently she wants something called 'Deathbane', which is a potion containing moonshine, three kinds of extremely hard A, and fruit. I'm also getting paid again the day before this party. It may end up being yet more epic.

I feel revitalized. This is what I live for.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 11:17:12 GMT

Why's everyone so convinced they understand me? For serious, people. I have only a tenous grasp on why I do what I do, and everyone and their mother who's had passing aquaintence with me in one venue thinks they have a roadmap to my psyche.

There is one (1) (I) person who I think may understand me completely. Maybe. She understands more then she allows herself to know, I know that much for sure.

There are two (2) (II) others who could understand me, with a bit more wisdom. Not to mention the motivation to do so, which one of them certainly won't ever have and the other is too distracted with his own life to care, and more power to him.

This is a grand total of three (3) (III) people who can make a claim to understand me without being total fuckwits. This is not good odds for anyone.

I chose the wrong night to get completely obliterated on pain pills.

God bless the japanese.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:22:00 GMT

http://asame.web.infoseek.co.jp/bbsgal.html

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 12:17:35 GMT

Getting a tattoo. Ideas, any ideas, appreciated. Fire away!

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 02:46:20 GMT

I just finished reading 'The Stand' for the second time. Last time I was 11. Age has made it a better book. Time to read the source material, I think... Job, especially.

Eventful.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 06:45:17 GMT

Wake up at 9 PM last night.
Beat Arc the Lad.
Called potential job, got interview time.
Got utterly blasted an hour before my interview.
Passed interview with flying colors.
Became employed.
Dealt with Stern Talking-To from apartment management.
Went to parents.
Mom mentions willing me her old bong (!!!).
Eat. Eat a lot, in fact.
Mom mentions bong again (!)
Mom shows me bong (!!) ...And many, many, many other smoking devices (!!!!!!!)
Mom gives me bong. From 1979. That did five years of duty on my parents coffee table.

I love getting shit done in a day.

misogyny time!

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 21:56:21 GMT

Most every woman I know is utterly incapable of finding a decent male without my guiding hand. It's fucking ridiculous, and I'm fucking sick of it. I've been in positions where I had to logically realize that the person I loved (And, in one case, had committed four years to) is simply not a good choice! I did it. It sucked, but I did. So am I some sort of fucking superman of mental fortitude, or are the women around me stupid, oblivious, weak, or all three??

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 22:20:33 GMT

Good to see that Nick has retained my tendency for violence, but tempered it with some forethought and caution.

ST = Smokeless tobacco

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 17:48:02 GMT

ST leukoplakias only rarely progress to cancer. For example, one prospective study found no case of cancer in 1,550 ST users with leukoplakia who were followed for 10 years [65], and a second study reported no case of oral cancer among 500 regular ST users followed for six years [66]. A retrospective study of 200,000 male snuff users in Sweden found only one case of oral cancer per year, an extremely low frequency [67]. In comparison, a follow-up study reported that 17% of smoking leukoplakias transformed into cancer within seven years [68].

These studies have received considerable attention among tobacco researchers, particularly in Europe, because they are viewed as showing no oral cancer risk for Swedish products. They formed the basis for the Swedish government's decision in 1999 to recommend that the European Union (EU) oral cancer warning labels be removed from ST products. An EU directive in 2001 accomplished that objective and specified a new warning, "This tobacco product can damage your health and is addictive" [80]. Notably, the other five studies contributing to the summary RRs for moist snuff were American, and they reported RRs very similar to those of the Swedish studies.

However, even with these limitations, the results of these studies are reasonably consistent with regard to mouth cancer risks from long-term use of moist snuff and chewing tobacco. In their review Rodu and Cole concluded that "the abundance of data now available indicates that commonly used ST products increase the risk of oral and upper respiratory tract cancers only minimally."

In 2005 the American Cancer Society (ACS) reported that ST users did not have significantly increased risks for oral and pharyngeal cancer in either the first or the second Cancer Prevention Study [92]. Despite this finding, the ACS website continues to focus on ST as a cause of mouth cancer, erroneously stating that "risk of cancer of the cheek and gums may increase nearly 50-fold among long-term snuff users" [95]. A later section of this report will discuss this type of misinformation.

numerous epidemiologic studies have not demonstrated that ST use is associated with risk of cancer at any site outside the mouth.

In 2003, Asplund completed a comprehensive review of the cardiovascular effects of ST use [102]. He concluded that, in distinct contrast to smokers, ST users do not exhibit any significant differences from nonusers of tobacco with regard to the following measures of cardiovascular health: heart rate, blood pressure, cardiac output and maximal working capacity, levels of hemoglobin and hematocrit, leukocytes, antioxidant vitamins, fibrinogen, components of the fibrinolytic system, C-reactive protein and thromboxane A2 production. In addition, ST users did not show important smoking-associated vascular changes, including increased thickness of blood vessels and atherosclerotic plaque development. In summary, most of the medical and epidemiologic evidence documents that ST users do not have elevated risks for cardiovascular diseases.

Nicotine has been characterized as powerfully addictive. But nicotine itself poses little or no health hazard. For example, it does not cause emphysema or cancer [105,106], and there is no evidence that it plays a direct role in the development of cardiovascular diseases [106,107]. A report from a meeting at the United Nations Focal Point on Tobacco or Health concluded that "long-term nicotine use is not of demonstrated harm, with the possible exception of use during pregnancy" [108].

The established health risks associated with ST use are vastly lower than those of smoking. In the past 25 years, almost 80 peer-reviewed scientific and medical publications have acknowledged the differential risks between the two tobacco products

In 1994 Rodu noted that ST use posed a lower risk for mouth cancer than smoking [10]. In 2001 this was confirmed by a comprehensive report on tobacco harm reduction by the Institute of Medicine, which stated that "the overall [oral cancer] risk [for ST use] is lower than for cigarette smoking, and some products such as Swedish snus may have no increased risk"

http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1779270

Christ. What a propaganda machine tobacco has on it. Apparently, STs aren't getting pushed simply because of the stigma on tobacco. What madness.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 03:20:31 GMT

So I fell asleep with a Snu in my mouth.

Nicotine gives you WEIRD dreams.

Bizzare capture the flag, then some sex for flavor, then a bit of street racing, and a spiritual vision to finish it off.

What the fuck, nature?

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 02:22:08 GMT

So I quit smoking. Tobacco, that is.

Yay me?

So, hi, understanding of mom and dad.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 20:36:22 GMT

Never really liked Led Zepplin, truth be told. Had them on my playlist, but the songs usually got skipped. I suppose I'm too hyperactive for that sort of music. But wow, add a bowl of weed, and I see the light.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 03:47:52 GMT

I really ought to trust my instincts more. The only problem is, they don't bother with logic, and I frequently can't make others see it my way without that logic. In time, my insticts are always proven right, but it's typically too late by then.

It's strange, how little quirks of personality can add together to paint a new picture of someone that I thought I liked. The instincts knew, even months ago.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 20:07:21 GMT

http://www.raymondwatts.com/lyrics/sweetchild.html

Always did like that song. 'I wanna do more then I can' seems to sum me up well. I'm learning to limit myself, to not reach beyond my means.

I have a car, as of yesterday~

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 23:48:50 GMT

Eris Ambika: BECAUSE I DON'T WANT NO NON-ALIEN SPORE BURSTING OUT OF MY CUNT UNTIL I'M GOOD AND READY AND HAVE THE COURAGE TO SEE THE MOVIE ALIEN WITHOUT THROWING UP

Nessa is epic.

I'm turning 20 on monday. I'm going to be getting a ton of pure apathy from most of my friends! Awesome!

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 20:19:15 GMT

Nick Melos (3:59:24 PM): For me, I made a rule.
Nick Melos (3:59:52 PM): Whenever I thought of a wisecrack, thought of doing something stupid, anything like that...
Nick Melos (4:00:29 PM): As long as there were no immediate concerns (Really hurting someone's feelings, dying from idiocy, etc.), I would force myself to do it the moment I thought of it
Nick Melos (4:00:55 PM): I would always think 'I'm having second thoughts. I've gotta do it now'
Nick Melos (4:01:03 PM): And it just got to be habit
----- (4:02:24 PM): Did it make you happy?
Nick Melos (4:02:14 PM): Yes. I speak my mind, I'm fearless, I can protect people around me, it makes me money, makes me friends, makes me admirers. I am what many, many people wish they could be, and I forged this myself, out of nothing.
Nick Melos (4:02:24 PM): I am intensely proud of myself and where I am.

Shit always goes wrong, but at the end of the day, I'm still me, and that's all I need.

Certain people need to stop worrying about me. *laughs* When have I ever not bounced right back?

Steph, if you see this, get in touch. We need to talk, hammer some things out.

Trygon, out~

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 21:02:48 GMT

Well, there go my plans.

Drinking time now.

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 18:02:15 GMT

How I wish, how I wish you were here...
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl... Year after year,
Running over the same old ground,
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here...

The more I learn, the more I know my right path. Fate is blocked, however... By simple human emotion.

Try is screaming...

EPIC

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 01:26:10 GMT

Many thanks to woekitten for the link. I don't know how to do that fancypants LJ link, so anyone seeking further awesomeness will have to check my friends page for her journal.

IMPORTANT

Dragon_renka@yahoo.com — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 07:51:30 GMT

I just got an ED account.

Some people need to help me write some quality articles. You know who you are. Get in touch.